Chicken is delicious

I'm still trying to find my voice. Because I'm pretty sure I need one since my awesomeness might be in question...

a) I have tattoos. That means I am pretty cool. Some of my tattoos have meaning and stuff.. (bonus!).. some of them kinda suck (uhmm..).. but.. at the end of the day, I am cool. While is it punk rock to NOT have ink.. I have some. ME == COOL.

San Francisco is REALLY REALLY progressive and stuff so I want to make sure that I am cool at all times.. and I would really love to be in the loop. I actually walked down the street the other day and took a shit in front of a store.. to make sure that no one would stop me. Thank fucking [insert something] that I had the right to do that.

b) One of the shoe shine guys walked down the street at Hana Zen/First Crush next to the Powell BART station.. and did the usual lines.. So as an aggressive jackass, I would have loved to scream at him for no other reason than me being drunk but.. He told me that "shoeshine joe" was in Pleasanton (suburbs) and that Earl (from Red's Corner) is still in Palo Alto. We shook hands, talked... and...

...

I like to walk down the street in San Francisco and do cool shit. And there is a hell of a lot of cool shit to do. I know that I can walk into ANY bar in .. ok.. uhm.. ANY bar... any bar loo... I can walk into a gay bear bar in SF and have a leather-clad 50 year old guy in (redundant) leather think of me as the chicken nugget to his "TYRONE MEETS CHICKEN NUGGET)" fantasy...

But that is what is really cool about living in San Francisco.

I wear my finest Dickies shirts (one of the brown ones not only has 2 cigarette burns but a small yellow paint stain that looks like mustard!) when I do what I do. I am pretty sure in someone's world that is hip but in my world that is lazy.

The cool thing is.. when I show up at HEART on 24th/Valencia... we can all walk in and share wine and fine at community tables. The food there is made to be shared... like cheese and meat plates... the wine is cheap.. but it is awesome. You've got a great space where people sit around and are REQUIRED to get along because...

It is fun to terrorize the 50+ year old guy (who is pretty cool) who is sitting with his wife/partner/whatever.. who is also in that person's target age range.. (and now both people are pretty cool).. and telling them both that.. we are now sitting next to a 50+ year old guy... his date... a bunch of drunk people between 20-40 years old.. an eccentric jackass with a pickle tattooed on his arm.. and WE ALL FUCKING GET ALONG...

.. and when I come home at night after a long day and someone is parked 3 feet into my driveway, I will, with a big smile on my face, make sure that car is towed away and (30 minutes after the call), laugh as random college students wonder where their car went.

Chicken is delicious.

I am awesome.