I love San Francisco.. Fuck everyone who lives here.

So I'm pretty new at this.

First off... my asshole tastes like the pomegranate soap that I use in the shower. I know this because everyone must be kissing my ass.

I walk into the office on Wendsday. I spelled that wrong because I wanted to.

Nothing unusual. Normal crap. But all my boys/goons/people-who-dont-suck aren't around. I sit down in the recliner I put into my office (you know, the productivity enhancement unit with exposed bonding enablers).. cubicle. I open up my web-based email client and see the following message:

"So long and thank you for all the fish"

I try to click on the message... because it is a message.

I try to click on the message... because it is a message from my coworker.

I try to click on the message... because the other half of TEAM AWESOME sent it...

I try to click on the message...

MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD.

I'm trying to open up an email from the person who is holding up all my projects.. whose projects I am holding up as well.. the OTHER person I work with who is stupid enough to do his job. And while I am under the impression that he just quit, I get called into the office and realize that...

Everyone was laid off except for me.

Awesome. Job security. Now I get to do the work of everyone... including the people who worked on things I didn't care about (ok, start caring), understand (umm.. ok, start understanding), didn't spend months mastering (kewl, master them real fast.. yeah...)..

Let me repeat.

EXCEPT FOR ME.

So while it is really fun to wake up in the morning and catch the train in, it really isn't that much fun to wake up in the morning, catch the train in, work a full day.. go home.. get called up in the middle of the night.. work until 7am... sleep for 3 hours.. work again.

Vomit = bad. Vomit+Blood = worse. My [life/job/world] = SUCK MY BALLS.

But the good thing is.. the pieces of sashimi at Sushi Bistro are awesome. When a new place opens up they want to bring people in. So while 24th street (bryant... not noe) is full of morons who madly hip (i watch shit ironically), Sushi Bistro keeps updating their menu and showing off their fish as if they were in nob hill. uni, blue fin, etc..

Welcome to the Bay Area.

Show up here, tell us what to do, and leave. In the meantime, smoke crack, don't work, and piss all over us. We'll take it because in California... we're idiots.. but in San Francisco, we're progressive.

Suck a dick... in the most politically correct way I can tell you to fuck yourself.